Most of Christine's email this week was mostly to her family, which she didn't really want published for all, but I think most of it is appropriate to share. I will probably edit it a bit, but I think it has shown so much growth for Christine, and that is what people are always asking me about. I hope she forgives me. :)
~Mom
皆様おはいようございます！
This week was... crazy. Just crazy. :-)
We saw so many amazing miracles... and of course titled them all. We're
just that cool. ;)
Family: So the biggest thing of
this week I don't really want everyone knowing about... So keep this
part off the blog okay? :-) Love you guys.
So this week was probably one of the hardest weeks of my
whole mission so far and that really is saying something... I mean you
guys remember how I was during my first and second transfer with
Kuwahara姉妹. Well, after I got the news about Logan I got really
depressed... Not really necessarily about Logan because, like I said, I
dedicated a whole personal study time to what happened to him. He's
okay. No, what I got really depressed about was everyone else. I'm
sure there are a lot of people who worked at the Space Center who were
pretty upset about Logan. I realized too that while I've been gone, life
is still continuing at home. People are growing up and changing. When I
get back, things are going to be different than when I left... I'm going
to be different from when I left. Then my companion, as you all know,
really has a hard time staying focused on the work. This week she's
been working on her college application for this fall and it's been all
she can talk about this week... So that got me super stressed out about
school and work and just life. For the first time in a long time, I
wanted SO badly to come home... but I didn't want to come home because
everything would be different. I felt trapped and alone. I felt like I
had nobody to talk to. I mean, what could I do? Email President Budge
and get an email saying "I'm not letting you go home so quit whining
and get to work"? Talk to my companion who is depressed and distracted
enough? Yeah, I didn't know what to do. And to make everything better,
we went back this week to all of those houses we posted last week and
found... nobody. Not a single person... So I had nothing to distract me
from what I was thinking either.
Then we had District Meeting.
If
there's one really handy trick I learned from the Space Place it's the
ability to put on a smile and make people think nothing is wrong so you
can get the work done. That's what I did. As far as I know, the only
one even slightly aware of what I was feeling was my companion. This
District Meeting consisted of a total of 6 missionaries... The District
Leader, his bean companion, the two Zone Leaders, and my companion and
I. Well, the district leaders companion stood up to give us all a
training. The youngest missionary among us. :P He was so nervous, but
he bore such a powerful testimony that God was there and loved each of
us. It really touched me. Then the District Leader stood up and said
"I testify to what my companion said. God is there. He's here.
Remember, He's not just standing at the finish line waiting with open
arms yelling 'Come on! Come on!'. He's with us every step of the way.
He's holding our arms and pushing us forward. We are not alone." That
really really hit me hard. I guess for the first time I really
realized the truth of that... I've always had this image of God standing
at the gate saying "Well done thou good and faithful servant"...
Someone watching and cheering, but I really didn't feel... like He's
here right now. You know? Well, I realized after that meeting that what
I really wanted more than anything right now is someone to be with me right now.
Someone to listen to me and someone to pick me up because I've
definitely fallen down... I went home and prayed. I felt this...
overwhelming feeling of just... love. I was still depressed beyond all
reason and I was so upset... but for the first time in my mission, I
didn't feel alone.
"God isn't just waiting at the finish line with open arms
yelling 'Come on! Come on!'. He's with us every step of the way. He's
holding our arms and pushing us forward. We are not alone."
In my President Letter this week I wrote "This week has
been one of the hardest weeks of my mission so far... and I wouldn't
have it any other way. I've learned so much from it and I'm so greatful
for it." My companion wrote a song after district meeting that went
something like "Every day's a hard one, but I wouldn't have it any other
way because that's the way we grow. That's the way we learn He's there
for you. He's aware of you." Although it's still hard, having a
knowledge that I'm not alone has given me the strength to push
forward and keep going. I'm greatful for this trial I'm going through
and almost passed. Because of this I'm growing, changing, and becoming
what God would have me be. :-)
Anyway, back to the miracles. :-)
"I've been looking for you!":
A
few days ago we were out streeting. Both my companion and I were
EXHAUSTED. For the last 3 weeks we've done nothing but finding. That's
around 8 hours every day of biking, walking, climbing up and down
stairs, walking, and walking! We were so tired. Well, while we were
streeting I noticed this girl in a pink sweater who I thought just
looked really friendly. We walked up to her and I said "Konnichiwa!"
She answered "Hello!" :P I started, and said "Do you speak English?"
She said "A little." Then in Japanese she asked me if I speak Japanese,
and I said (in Japanese) a little. She smiled and looked at my badge
and said "EH! I've been looking for you! I used to go to Eikaiwa in
(*insert name of a different area that I don't remember :P*) but I just
moved here and didn't know where the church was!" We ended up talking
to her for a minute, not for long because she was on her way to the
hospital, and showed her where the church was! She's planning on coming
to Eikaiwa this week so I'm way excited!
"Let's put one!"
So every night we
have something we call a daily planning session. We set a goal for the
number of lessons that we plan on teaching the next day. Saturday
night we were planning and trying to decide how many member present
lessons we were going to have. As far as we knew, the only investigators
we had coming to church was Juna and Sara who are 13 and 11... My
companion looks at me and says "Let's put one! Someone will surprise us
and come to church and we'll grab a member and have a lesson with
them!" We both kind of laughed a little and wrote it down. I said
"Wouldn't that be awesome?" She said "Hey! It could happen!" I said
"Yup! It could and it will!"
At church the next day a member came and brought his nonmember mom
with him! He asked us if we'd be willing to teach her. Crazy! It
ended up being a really good lesson and she had a really good experience
at church! Hopefully she'll be coming next week with her son again!
:-D
"I'm Shantel."
This week we had a
dinner appointment at one of the members house. Since both my companion
and I are new to the area we were both sure we were going to
get lost trying to find their house... We left about an hour and a half
early just to make sure we made it in time even if we got lost. When we
got to the eki, my companion went to charge her passmo. (Passmo: A card
you put money on and scan in order to board trains and busses and
such. When you run out of money on it you go to these little station
things and charge it. :D) I was looking around the station at all of
the people and noticed a gaijin girl walking around with her suitcase. I
watched her for a little bit and she walked up to a random nihonjin
girl and started talking. They both looke really flustered and
frustrated. We decided to go talk to her and see what was going on!
Turns out she was a bit lost and doesn't speak ANY Japanese. She'd been
in Japan for less than a week and didn't know what to do. We looked at
our watch and said "You know what, we have time. We'll go with you to
help you find the right train station!" We ended up getting to talk to
her for about 40 minutes as we helped her find her way... Oh, backtrack
real quick. Right before this, we stopped at the church to drop off
some of the really heavy things we had in our backpacks. For the first
time my whole mission, this last week I've been carrying around an
English copy of the Book of Mormon. I looked at it and thought about
dropping it off at the church, but something said "don't do it"... Now I
know why! I pulled out that English copy and gave it to Shantell. She
promised to read it! Yaaaay! :-D
And that was my week! I love being a
missionary! There's nothing like it! I hope you guys have a fantastic
week! Thanks so much for everything you guys do for me. All of your
prayers and your support and letters! I love you guys so much and miss
you all a ton! :-)
Hope to hear from you soon!
Love,
Christine
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